Swine flu is now a national emergency even though there have been hardly any deaths from it at all. But then we need national emergencies, because in between all the balloon boys and the Kate and Jon Gosselins, the media has to throw in something that actually passes for an actual crisis.

Any of our seniors who lived through serious epidemics and saw many of their classmates die, can only shake their heads at the senseless hysteria over what is basically a flu variant that poses no real threat to anyone but a handful of people who already either suffer from obesity, weak immune systems or other conditions that cause them to have a greater risk toward any flu complications, not just Swine flu.

If you think I'm exaggerating, remember not that long ago when Avian Bird Flu was supposed to wipe out the entire world. What about Ebola, we even had movies about it and more than a few thrillers. Even AIDS for all the hype, has killed fairly few people in the United States. And that's because our level of medical care is actually pretty good.

The viruses that terrorized the world have stopped being a threat a while back. And mostly what we suffer from are lifestyle and environmental diseases and other preventable problems. And so to feel alive again, we need to pretend that a virus might be let loose that will wreak havoc, but outside of movies this just doesn't happen in the United States. And the quick rollout of swine flu vaccine is a demonstration of why.

Maybe that's the real secret behind the popularity of zombie movies.